Life Lesson #5055

August 3rd, 2007 / posted by Jake

You’ve been warned. There, I said it. Now after finishing what you are about to read, none of you can call me up and say, “You suck.” Lets proceed…

I enjoy cleaning our cars at least once every month (sometimes more) so for me it is crucial I have all the right tools. Saturday morning rolled around and I decided it would be a perfect day to wash the car. So I purchased all new tools from Target, brought Tyler outside to help me and began would usually turns into a 4 hour adventure, in what was probably about 98-102 degree weather.

I parked the car into a pre-determined spot, opened all the doors and began cleaning out the trash and organizing the contents of everything; CD’s, what seemed like 100 pair’s of Tyler’s shoes, more trash, empty bottles, more shoes and more trash. After this long process, I unwound our Dyson (senseless plug) and began vacuuming everything out. I put Tyler on the front seat because he loves to play with all the controls and buttons. After I had completed vacuuming, I decided it was time to wash the exterior of the car. Tyler was keeping himself busy with the buttons and controls, so I closed the doors and began step 2 of the grueling ordeal. Occasionally Tyler would look up and I’d intentionally spray the window and he’d laugh and then continue to play with the buttons. After rinsing everything down, I starting soaping the front real good – mind you, I could spend 15 minutes on one side alone. I feel that I’ve gotten it down to a science: rinse, soap & scrub, rinse repeating this process at least 3 times minimum. After the third cycle, 12 minutes or so, I decided it was time to move onto the next side. Tyler was still amused only he was completely drenched in water. “Oh no!!!! One of the window’s or door’s must have been open while I was spraying it down” was my first thought and I ran around checking all the doors and windows.

Nope. Turns out it was only sweat and I had done the unthinkable – left my child in not only a closed car, but in 100+ degree heat for 10 minutes. I snatched him out of the car, almost dropping him because he started slipping through my fingers he was so wet. He was conscious but his face was completely red and he was no longer in a hyper mood, but in a slow-tired mood. I literally held the hose over him and then I created a mini-fountain from which he drank for at least a minute straight. Keep in mind even though I wish I could drink lemonade for a minute straight, it’s near impossible. Well he drank for a minute straight. So after I near cooked him to death, I near drowned him to death.

After a few more minutes he returned to his normal color and he and I continued to clean the car. Now I thought at first to never share such a terrible story to anyone, but like you read about in the newspapers or see on TV, I thought in sharing my story I could perhaps prevent it from happening to someone else. So for those of you reading, if you learn nothing else from anything I say, try to at least remember this:

It should never take 12 minutes to wash down 1 side of your car, maybe 5 at best. Anything more and you’re wasting your time.

[ Editors Note: While there is a bit of sarcastic humor included, my intention of sharing this story with EVERYONE was to make you all aware how easy it is to make a simple mistake. Have I always thrown the TV remote at our TV when I heard about moronic parents who left their kid in the car while they went grocery shopping? Yes. Will I continue to react the same way now even after I did the same? Yes because at the end of the day, they are idiots as was I. We got lucky nothing serious happened. Besides, you should see how clean our cars are now. ]