Archive for May, 2008

I draw the line at animal parks with no animals.

May 31st, 2008 / posted by Jake

We recently decided to spend the day at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom, or what used to be known as Marine World. Growing up, I remember visiting the park on numerous occasions and being entertained by numerous dolphin and whale shows, water acrobatics/stunt shows, and lots of other sea animal exhibits. Upon arriving, we cracked open a map and decided that it would be best to arrange our day according to sea-shows schedule, just as my mom used to do. After studying the map I came to the conclusion that surely my map was in chinese because according to the map I was reading, there were maybe 1-2 shows the entire day. Yes, that’s right, 2 shows and we had already missed the first one since it was already noon.

So I gave the map to a Chinese couple hoping they could read it better and we made our way to the first appealing location on the map – Thomas the Train land. Tyler loves Thomas the Train and we thought once he recognized the trains he would go crazy and be so overcome with joy he would just pass out… well we arrived and Tyler just stood and stared at the attractions, looked back to us, and then down to the ground. He was not impressed. But we rode the helicopter and bus and decided to just move to a different part of the park.

I thought it would be fun to see how Tyler reacted to seeing sea animals such as otters, seals, dolphins amd other fun animals. Well he was not impressed by any of it except the stingray attraction. I was quite hesitant at first but it was actually quite fun. The animals feel like giant slugs and are pretty fast and Tyler enjoyed them. Next Tyler and Lindsey walked through the Shark exhibit which had about 2 sharks total, none of which Tyler could really see due to poor lighting so that was a bust. But to our dismay he was very entertained by the public phone booths right around the corner. Actually, when we walked by them he reacted exactly as I had anticipated he would upon arriving at the Thomas the Train exhibits – yah, that’s right. Tyler was ecstatic at the sight of phone booths more than Thomas the Train so we let him play with them for awhile before I decided it was time to encourage him to move onto the next exhibit — monkeys and gorillas.

Upon arriving we learned that these were actually rides and would not be able to see any monkeys or gorillas but nextdoor was a wild-safari ride which looked similar to a Jurassic Park set. It had a lot of over-sized jeeps for the kids so we went on it. It circled around what I had hoped to be a ferocious den of lions and tigers who would be clawing at our tires trying to eat us. Instead it had 2 turtles.

To finish our day we stopped by a water attraction where all the other kids were. We sat down, took Tyler’s shirt off, and let him play in the fountains of water for as long as he wanted.

After all was said and done, it really was a good trip and Tyler did enjoy himself as did we. But if you are going there to see animals, don’t expect to see any. I guarantee you’ll see more animals if you were to walk to your mailbox on any given day than you will at Six Flags. But if you are in the mood for pretty cool phone booths, $12 unlimited soda refills, rides made for adults taller than 8 feet tall, and obnoxious teenagers then by all means spend your day at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom.

John Madden Has Been Right For Years

May 6th, 2008 / posted by Jake

With the recent passing of my dad’s mother, we flew down to San Diego to attend the Funeral. While there we were able to hangout with my cousins, aunts, and uncles which was nice (although I do wish it were under different circumstances). After the funeral we visited Lindsey’s parents and had a wonderful weekend before returning late Saturday.

Now as everyone is aware, flying is annoying. Have you ever done the “i save xx time because of flying” math? A flight from Sacramento to San diego takes about 1 hour and 15 minutes as opposed to the 8-10 hour drive (depending on who is driving). Now right away, the obvious answer to the question “which is quicker” is flying. But I think the math is wrong and I may need Kent’s help figuring this one out, but I think driving is much quicker. Let me further expound.

- Agreeing upon departure times and prices then booking the flight: 1 hour (be honest).

- Packing : (2 hours sometimes more if you take into consideration the fact that you have to prepare a “special bag” for carry-on. Make sure your child’s bottle and formula are seperate otherwise it may clearly be misconstrued as a bomb and everyone will point and scream “terrorist!”).

- Driving, parking, and taking luggage to check-in: 1 hour

- Going through security: 1 hour. (I don’t know about you but getting basically naked in public, and being handled by overweight people wearing blue gloves just slows me down mentally. Then after you have made it very clear you don’t have bombs in your armpits you have to try and get dressed again only to be told you’re going too slow. Also, why is it they don’t think my computer, iPod, AM/FM Radio, electrical tape, butterfly knives, and modern electronic devices are threatening, yet our baby formula sets off red alarms and causes the need for everyone to huddle around a monitor and whisper only to collectively conclude that it is infact baby formula and not a midget wielding a bomb I have stuffed into a can?

- Waiting to board: 1 hour.

Now that you have finally sat down in the airplane, count how many hours it has taken to get you to this point. 6. Which means had I driven I would have been past the grapevine and smelly cows and practically there all in the convenience of my own car. Meanwhile, you’re still in Sacramento waiting to depart and probably have a t-shirt or underwear on backwards no thanks to security.

- Flight: 1 hour 1/2 (lets round the 15 minutes up to 30 because the inconvenience of being fed peanuts and never refilling our drinks is annoying. Nothing makes me more thirsty than eating a bag of peanuts followed by a dixie cup full of ice with a touch of liquid in between. So I’m adding 15 minutes. Sorry.

- Getting your luggage and waiting for your ride or rental car: 2 hours. After you exit the airplane and make your way to the luggage like a wild herd of cattle, you then have to try and figure out which conveyor belt you are to stare at for the next 30-45 minutes. And why is it that your luggage is also last yet everyone else’s comes out way before yours? I hate that. It always feels like they are teasing me because when I have 4-5 pieces of luggage, they usually let out the first 4 right away making me think i’ll be out quick. But then the 5th usually makes its way onto the conveyor belt dead last.

- Driving to your final destination: 30 minutes.

Total time to consider when you fly: 10 hours. Also, as pointed out by Patti in a comment, 10 hours is the projected time if everything goes smoothly. What about if the plane is delayed, your suitcases never arrive, you can’t find your tickets or valuable items, etc;? If you’ve never had your suitcase “lost” at an airport, I’m 100% positive you know someone who has. Talk about pain.

Was it really worth it? Nope. You’re “1 hour 15 minute” plane trip is really 10+ hours. Yet my car drive which probably takes the average person 10 hours, might take me 8. This is why I plan on traveling John Madden style, which is how he has traveled for 15+ years – By bus. No worrying about bombs on your bus (except the silent ones), no blue gloves, no unnecessary removal of clothing (debatable), crap loads of food and drinks at your disposal, no opening your suitcase to find a note that basically says “TSA randomly went through your suitcase and sniffed your underwear”, and you can do as you please.